Tuesday, January 24, 2012

unsettled and obsessive

Modeling my new shirt that I made from $1 worth of fabric from FabMo.
Lately I've been reading up on my personality type. It all stemmed from a lovely date night at the Cheesecake Factory with Erica and Alan (Thank you, Secret Santa!). We were talking about our zodiac signs, about which I know nothing. Erica looked up the descriptions on her phone. She and Alan are cancers and fit the description to a tee. I'm a Libra and seemed to fit mine quite well, too. Christian is a scorpio and the description didn't really fit him at all. So I turned to good old Myers-Briggs. Besides, being the logical of logicals, I find it hard to believe that people born under the same moon are lumped together. Where's the science behind that?

Anyway, my Myers-Briggs type is ESFJ (which I can't remember for the life of me). It's almost scary how well the type description describes me. I'm a guardian provider. I want to make sure everyone is happy, that conflict is resolved, able to speak publicly with ease, friendly, outgoing, easily offended by indifference, cherish family traditions, sensitive to the feelings of others, practical, like to talk and give my opinion too much, organized, teacher. This is me--to a fault. (ESFJs make up about 13% of the population.)

So the whole point of this post is to talk about one big part of the ESFJ: I thrive on resolution. If it's not settled, I'm unsettled. I want to be sure people understand what I've tried to convey. I left a comment on a blog just before doing yoga this morning, then realized after my shower that it didn't say everything I wanted to, so I added a quick addendum as I ran out the door, but realized in the car that I still hadn't said what I needed to. It was unresolved. I kept going over it in my head. Did everyone understand what I meant? Are we all on the same page? I need to go back and clarify! It needs to be clear!

It took everything in me not to go back and post more. Seriously--I already had left 3 comments. I'd look like I was obsessed with the blog. In reality, I'm obsessed with whether what I write is clear, not the blog itself. I had to remind myself: Who cares if strangers on a blog misunderstood what I was saying about fashion? (Speaking of fashion, don't you love my new shirt? Being broke doesn't mean I can't have cute clothes!) Really. Who cares? So I exercised restraint. It took me hours to be okay with not going back and posting more.

This is my life. If it's unresolved, I can't think about anything else. I need resolution. I need clarity. This drives me insane, and it probably drives everyone I know insane, too. But I'm exercising restraint. You won't get the best of me, ESFJ! I'm in charge here! I own you!

(On a completely unrelated note, I may or may not have gone back and added more comments after I wrote this post...)


Ashley said...

I would have totally pegged you as an EFSJ (not knowing the overall type but just going through each of the letters). And that description DOES sound just like you.

Love the shirt!

Kathryn said...

Hey Molly,
Thanks for the comment! I had to laugh when you said that working full-time and taking care of two kids was easier! Wow. There is no way I could do that. You are amazing! I am going to try out your idea. I think it would really help! We really need to touch base and meet up in Hollister one of these days. :)

Jenni said...

This makes me want to know my Myers Briggs personality type.

Tamra said...

This made me giggle. Thanks!

Also, the shirt is cool!

Molly said...

Ashley--Yep. I guess I'm pretty transparent. :)

Kathryn--Glad I could offer some sort of help! Let me know when you guys are heading to Hollister next.

Jenni--As I said in the email, go to the Kiersey Temperament site and pay a few bucks to take the test. Gives you basically the same results.

Tamra--Thanks! What type are you? I'm totally curious.

Chelle said...

I like those personality tests. I think they are so fun! I really like the Color Code too. I remember taking that letter one in high school and that I had an E and a J, but I don't remember what the others were. As you were describing yourself though, I thought, "Hey...that sounds a lot like me!" (Hopefully you are not insulted by this. :) Although I don't stew over things. I probably should more. I'm super quick to just say, "Eh, that's over. Can't change it, why should I think about it?"

Tamra said...

I don't know what type I am. Is there a book on it?

I'm a lot like your type in some ways, but completely unlike it in others. For instance, I have no desire to make sure everyone is happy, but I can't live with unresolved conflicts. They eat me alive.

Emma and Dan said...

I love your shirt.

I've never done the Myers-Briggs thing before, but you sound very similar to Dan. :) He had to do it for a work thing a couple of months ago, but I don't remember all his letters. Maybe I should figure out what I am since I love The Color Code book and this sounds similar.

Jenna said...

you've got skills making that cute shirt of yours!

I need to do this personality test thing. I have never done it!

Ashley C. said...

Where do you take the test? I want to do mine.

Molly said...

Michelle--Ooh. I'm interested to see what you are now. Let's just pretend we're the same. Except for that whole playing the piano by ear thing. How in the world do you do that?

Tamra--Something tells me you and I are quite different. Only because you don't really care about having a filter and mine is like a brick wall. Ha! But that might be why we get along.

Emma--Thanks! I might need to look into the color code thing. I don't even know what that is!

Jenna--Thanks! It looks better from far away. :)

Ashley--Come over this week. We'll figure out what you are.