stick a fork in me - i'm done

Sometime at the beginning of the year I looked at Christian, smiled, and said, "I'm ready to be fat." He looked confused but quickly deciphered my code. It had been 9 months since we had decided to try for a baby, and I was tired of waiting--I was ready to be all round and pregnant. No more negative pregnancy tests.

I've always told Christian that I'm not allowed to call myself "fat" while I'm pregnant (or for 6 months after the baby is born). And I mean it. You gain weight when you're pregnant. It's a fact of life. Okay, it's a fact of life for most people--some girls stay stick skinny. But I figured I can either feel fat all the time and be miserable and complain about it (which no one really wants to hear), or I can shrug my shoulders, accept that I am "pregnant round" and worry about more important things--like my plan for exercising and getting a rock-hard sexy body after the baby is born. (Ha! Remind me in 10 months that I actually said that.)

But this past weekend I decided I'm done. I'm content with my pregnant size, but I'd prefer not to go any further. Face is round, arms are squishy, butt is big, and thighs are lumpy. I've paid my dues, right? Wrong... I still have 7 weeks left. Face will get rounder, arms will get squishier, butt will get bigger, and thighs will get lumpier.

I love my body. I don't feel overweight. I don't think I look overweight. (Don't correct me if I'm wrong.) But then again, it's very important to me that I have a positive body image, so even when I am a little round, I don't think it really bothers me that much. I just like to point it out to Christian: "Do you see that? Is that cottage cheese on my calves? Where did that come from and can I push that fat up to my boobs instead?" He mostly just ignores me.

And no, I'm not trying to solicit "But Molly, you look so good!" comments from you (my blog fans). 1) that just makes me feel awkward, and 2) I walk around telling Christian how good I look every day. "Dang, I look cute! Look at my belly!" Don't you worry--I don't seem to be lacking in the self-confidence arena these days.

But really, is there an I'm-Content-And-Would-Rather-Not-Go-Any-Further button I can push? You know, because the the Eat-Healthy-And-Exercise-A-Lot button seems to have disappeared from view. And the Eat-Lots-Of-Sweets-And-Sleep-In-Every-Morning button is sitting right next to me all day long and I don't even have to push it for it to work...

I think I'll have more lemon drops.

trashy TV

Uh oh. Christian was flipping channels tonight and we came across the first episode of this season's Tool Academy. I had never even heard of the show until an hour ago.



It's ridiculously entertaining. And horrible--in a gut-wrenching way. It's trashy TV. And I think Christian, Richard, and I are fully hooked. Crap.

The guys are ridiculous. The girls obviously have problems of their own (I'd like to smack some of them and tell them to get a life and move on). But then I feel bad for all of them--the guys and the girls. I already have my favorite "tool" who I want to win--he has issues, but seemingly not as bad as the other guys. How did I get sucked in so fast?

And the best part? We actually watched TV together and it wasn't Family Guy or Whale Wars. I am soooo sick of those shows. Bring on the trashy TV.

bloggity blog

1. The other week I dared Richard to only spend 2 hours watching TV and/or wasting time on the computer. It was not easy for him to find things to do. In order to help him, I told Christian he should turn the TV off. That didn't go over incredibly well. But what did they end up doing? They washed windows instead! Christian held Richard's legs down while Richard leaned out the window and cleaned. See, guys? When you turn off the TV, you bond with each other! (And the windows get cleaned...)


2. I made some new linoleum block prints especially for Amy's little baby boy (due to arrive any day now). I can't wait to see them on him. But mostly I just can't wait to see him. I hope he comes soon, Amy!



3. I have labor envy. My coworker had her baby two days ago. 2 hours of labor, 3 pushes, and out came baby. And it was her first baby. I am jealous, but I'm mostly just excited for her!

4. This is old news, but I finally uploaded my pictures. Denise had her baby! Alyssa is so adorable. I'm sure she looks completely different than her birth day when we saw her. This is Denise 5 days before she had Alyssa. And this is me with 2 more months to go. Hmmmmm. We're the same size. I guess that makes sense since she was probably 30 pounds smaller than me to begin with.


5. I finally updated the weekly belly pics! It's midnight. I just finished. That's why I hadn't posted in a while. I knew it would take forever. But I have to finish what I started, right? Right!

computers

I am the quick-response IT help around my corner of the office. I'm not being big-headed. I'm just being honest. My coworkers have started asking me what they're going to do when I go out on maternity leave. Honestly--they're just going to walk a little farther down the hall to any other young person who knows stuff about computers. But for now, this is kind of how it goes around here:

You lost the inbox folder in your Eudora (for the tenth time)? Go ask Molly--she can get it to show up again.

You somehow pushed a combination of keys that made the display on your computer monitor flip upside down? Go ask Molly--she can fix it.

Your document isn't printing correctly? Go ask Molly--she can fix it.

When you click on an excel cell it highlights 10 surrounding cells, too? Go ask Molly--she can fix it.

You need to make name badges in a jiffy and can't seem to figure out how? Send it to Molly--she can do it for you.

The steering wheel in your car is locked and you can't seem to unlock it or turn on your car? Ask Molly--she seems to be able to fix your computer, so why not your car? (I'm not making this up--that was the exact conversation and reasoning behind asking me. And yes, I told her how to fix it.)

It's not that I know how to do everything. Most things I do, but otherwise I just do a quick search online and figure it out.

Much to my delight, I just took a look at the list of upcoming technology training classes offered to our staff. One is titled Excel 2007: What? You Don't Know Excel Yet? (Level 1). What a gloriously wonderful title for a class for people who work in an office, at computers, working with excel files on a daily basis.

I'd like them to add the following classes:

"Mail Merge: What? Your job involves sending mass letters out to students and you don't know mail merge yet?"

"Internet: What? You don't know how to look something up on the internet?"

"Staples: What? You don't know that staples are kept in the supply room?"

"Searching old emails: What? You don't know how to find the email I sent you last week and you want me to send it again?"

I could go on and on and on...

when life gives you lemons...

When life gives you lemons, you make lemon-garlic chicken, lemon-garlic tofu, lemon-mayonnaise, lemon bread, and strawberry-lemon smoothies.

All in one evening.

Or at least that seems to be what we do when life gives us lemons.

Next up--lemon squares. Mmmmmm.

i'd really like to...

I'd really like to have French Toast for lunch today. With melted chocolate chips all over the top. And whipped cream. Strawberries on the side.

I'd really like to take a long nap after my super yummy sugar-filled lunch.

I'd really like to buy a new car. Not a new-to-us car, but a brand new car. Brand spankin' new. One that won't die and then start up again a half hour after it is towed home.

I'd really like to go to Tahoe, but my back can't handle the car ride.

I'd really like to be able to fly. I've flown in dreams and it is wonderful.

But most of all, I'd really like to have French Toast for lunch today.

baby necessities

I'm thinking this might be one of the basic necessities I still need to buy before my baby comes.

Cutest pumpkin hat ever. By CloseKnitFriends on Etsy.

belly pictures

I'm on a roll today, huh? Trust me--I am getting a lot done at work. I really am. And I just got out of a 2 1/2 hour meeting, so I need a little mental break.

I know I am in serious trouble for not posting my weekly belly pictures. I have been bad. Very bad. Feel free to slap me on the wrist next time you see me. Speaking of--let's hang out! Call me.

BUT--but, but, but... My lovely friend Julia was out here the other week. And she took pictures of my belly! Julia did an amazing job. Check out the pictures of my belly that she posted on her photography blog (then check out the rest of her photography, too). Thank you, Julia!

baby dreams

My brain can't get things straight. Whenever I dream about our baby, it's a girl. It has never been a boy. And the baby is usually like a year old. And I usually leave it somewhere by accident--for hours or days at a time. I obviously have issues.

But Christian finally had a dream about our baby last night. He said it was a boy. Yay! At least one of us can get it right. And then he proceeded to tell me that the baby was born at 4:27am and weighed 10 pounds, 2 ounces. WHAT?? And that the baby was a chunk, really squirmy, and could practically crawl. And in the dream he thought, "How come our baby isn't tiny and cute and calm like Denise and Scott's new baby?" Too funny.

Please tell me I'm not going to have a 10-pound baby. Please.

[PS--Denise and Scott had their baby last weekend! She is beautiful!!]

baseball

A while back my work planned an outing to the Giants v. Dodgers game (which was yesterday). I knew I'd be 30 weeks pregnant by the time the game rolled around. I figured I'd be fine. Sounded like fun.

A few days ago a coworker said he couldn't go and asked if anyone wanted to buy his ticket. So I invited Christian (since he is now jobless and free to do these kinds of things during the day).

Christian and I drove up together since I wasn't sure how my back would handle a long ride in a packed Caltrain. (My back seems to hurt every day now.)

Unfortunately, my back was screaming by the time we got there even though we drove our own car. Walking the mile from the farthest parking lot didn't sound so bad before, but now that my back was hurting, I wasn't looking forward to it. So we were grumpy. $32 for each ticket. $20 for parking. $84 total to be ridiculously uncomfortable? We have better things to spend our money on right now (like baby supplies).

So what did we do?

We sold our tickets to the first guy we saw on the side of the road and went straight to Ghirardelli Square. We ate our ice cream sundaes while laying on the lawn at Aquatic Park. It was pure bliss.

We talked about all the things we're going to buy when we're stinking rich.

Christian is going to get a blue-angels type jet (for $100,000,000), an old fighter jet (for $2,000,000), and a helicopter, of course. He just can't decide if he wants the 4-seater or the 6-seater. Decisions, decisions.

I am going to get a house in the mountains. By a lake. With trees all around. And hiking trails out my back door.

While I hear the game was pretty exciting, I thought eating ice cream on the grass in the breezy sunshine while dreaming of having lots of money was perfect.

layoffs

Christian was laid off a few weeks ago, but we were pretty prepared for it. Only a few weeks before, we had talked about our finances in depth just in case he was laid off. So when the news came, we were surprised, but felt complete calm about it. We were prepared.

Granted, that means he has to find something new, which is much easier said than done. And no, we're not mad at his company in any way (some people have been curious since the company's founder is one of our close friends). But we're just not like that. It's a very small company and we're positive it wasn't easy to do layoffs and salary cuts. That's just the way things go when the economy isn't doing well. It's not personal.

There was (is) a very small chance he would (will) be able to continue his job pending some sales/financial stuff in the company, but it isn't looking very likely. I would be excited if things worked out with his (former) job, but I'd also be excited if we could get rid of that monster of a desk in our living room. I have my priorities straight, as you can see.

The pros: Christian has had plenty of time to get both our cars fixed (not that we wanted to pay for them), clean out the baby's room, work on his clothing business, and do a million little odd jobs we never have time for.

The cons: Christian is likely sick of me taking advantage of his free time and asking him to do the million odd jobs we never have time for. Oh, and the fact that finding a new job is neither easy nor fun.

He plans to work part time until the end of the year since he'll be taking 5 classes in the fall while also becoming a first-time dad. So if you hear of any part-time positions available, give him a call.

october

Autumn bliss has hit me early. I've said it before, and I'll say it again--I love the Fall season. Love, love, love. Blustery weather, falling leaves, autumn colors, Halloween, Thanksgiving. I love it all. There is a feeling that goes along with it. Can't describe it, but I can feel it. I can feel the weather, the colors, the excitement. All I have to do is think about it.

I stopped at Diddams yesterday to grab some supplies for our upcoming family reunion carnival. They had their Autumn and Halloween decorations displayed. Not the tacky stuff, but the things that scream comfy cozy autumn-time. And the feeling rushed into me. I am ready for Fall.

This year we'll have a special addition to our family just before Halloween. That means I have to prepare early. I've never been one to decorate for a holiday in advance. I usually just throw out the (few) decorations I have just before the actual day. Not this year. I will likely be learning how to take care of a newborn at that time. So I will have to get ready for Fall early. Oh darn. ;)

blogging just to blog

1. Most nights I take a prenatal vitamin. I keep them by my bed. I open the bottle of water, open the vitamins, dump one in my hand, take it with water, and go to bed. The other night I fell asleep on the couch. I was obviously half asleep when I finally moved into my bedroom. Keeping to my normal routine, I opened the bottle of water... and dumped it in my hand. Oops. To save you some trouble, I'd advise against dumping a bottle of water into your hand.

2. I had pop tarts, an apple, ice cream, and cookies for dinner last night. Spread out over like 5 hours, of course. You know, since that somehow makes it okay. Don't tell anyone.

3. We start childbirth classes this week. I'm super excited! This may be a strange comparison, but I'm excited for the birth as if it's a race I signed up for. Bring it on, baby. Bring...it...on. (But not for another 2 1/2 months, please.)

4. Christian has some issues with blood and guts. We're not exactly sure how the whole birth process will go for him. I wish him luck. My friend Madika suggested I test him with the fake body parts and fake blood they use for some of the the medical students' lessons. You know, come around the corner screaming "Christian! I cut my arm and it's about to fall off!" and see if he passes out from the blood or springs into action. I think he would hate me forever. We'll scratch that idea.