Sometime at the beginning of the year I looked at Christian, smiled, and said, "I'm ready to be fat." He looked confused but quickly deciphered my code. It had been 9 months since we had decided to try for a baby, and I was tired of waiting--I was ready to be all round and pregnant. No more negative pregnancy tests.
I've always told Christian that I'm not allowed to call myself "fat" while I'm pregnant (or for 6 months after the baby is born). And I mean it. You gain weight when you're pregnant. It's a fact of life. Okay, it's a fact of life for most people--some girls stay stick skinny. But I figured I can either feel fat all the time and be miserable and complain about it (which no one really wants to hear), or I can shrug my shoulders, accept that I am "pregnant round" and worry about more important things--like my plan for exercising and getting a rock-hard sexy body after the baby is born. (Ha! Remind me in 10 months that I actually said that.)
But this past weekend I decided I'm done. I'm content with my pregnant size, but I'd prefer not to go any further. Face is round, arms are squishy, butt is big, and thighs are lumpy. I've paid my dues, right? Wrong... I still have 7 weeks left. Face will get rounder, arms will get squishier, butt will get bigger, and thighs will get lumpier.
I love my body. I don't feel overweight. I don't think I look overweight. (Don't correct me if I'm wrong.) But then again, it's very important to me that I have a positive body image, so even when I am a little round, I don't think it really bothers me that much. I just like to point it out to Christian: "Do you see that? Is that cottage cheese on my calves? Where did that come from and can I push that fat up to my boobs instead?" He mostly just ignores me.
And no, I'm not trying to solicit "But Molly, you look so good!" comments from you (my blog fans). 1) that just makes me feel awkward, and 2) I walk around telling Christian how good I look every day. "Dang, I look cute! Look at my belly!" Don't you worry--I don't seem to be lacking in the self-confidence arena these days.
But really, is there an I'm-Content-And-Would-Rather-Not-Go-Any-Further button I can push? You know, because the the Eat-Healthy-And-Exercise-A-Lot button seems to have disappeared from view. And the Eat-Lots-Of-Sweets-And-Sleep-In-Every-Morning button is sitting right next to me all day long and I don't even have to push it for it to work...
I think I'll have more lemon drops.
3 years ago