Monday, August 31, 2009

stick a fork in me - i'm done

Sometime at the beginning of the year I looked at Christian, smiled, and said, "I'm ready to be fat." He looked confused but quickly deciphered my code. It had been 9 months since we had decided to try for a baby, and I was tired of waiting--I was ready to be all round and pregnant. No more negative pregnancy tests.

I've always told Christian that I'm not allowed to call myself "fat" while I'm pregnant (or for 6 months after the baby is born). And I mean it. You gain weight when you're pregnant. It's a fact of life. Okay, it's a fact of life for most people--some girls stay stick skinny. But I figured I can either feel fat all the time and be miserable and complain about it (which no one really wants to hear), or I can shrug my shoulders, accept that I am "pregnant round" and worry about more important things--like my plan for exercising and getting a rock-hard sexy body after the baby is born. (Ha! Remind me in 10 months that I actually said that.)

But this past weekend I decided I'm done. I'm content with my pregnant size, but I'd prefer not to go any further. Face is round, arms are squishy, butt is big, and thighs are lumpy. I've paid my dues, right? Wrong... I still have 7 weeks left. Face will get rounder, arms will get squishier, butt will get bigger, and thighs will get lumpier.

I love my body. I don't feel overweight. I don't think I look overweight. (Don't correct me if I'm wrong.) But then again, it's very important to me that I have a positive body image, so even when I am a little round, I don't think it really bothers me that much. I just like to point it out to Christian: "Do you see that? Is that cottage cheese on my calves? Where did that come from and can I push that fat up to my boobs instead?" He mostly just ignores me.

And no, I'm not trying to solicit "But Molly, you look so good!" comments from you (my blog fans). 1) that just makes me feel awkward, and 2) I walk around telling Christian how good I look every day. "Dang, I look cute! Look at my belly!" Don't you worry--I don't seem to be lacking in the self-confidence arena these days.

But really, is there an I'm-Content-And-Would-Rather-Not-Go-Any-Further button I can push? You know, because the the Eat-Healthy-And-Exercise-A-Lot button seems to have disappeared from view. And the Eat-Lots-Of-Sweets-And-Sleep-In-Every-Morning button is sitting right next to me all day long and I don't even have to push it for it to work...

I think I'll have more lemon drops.

12 comments:

mj said...

But Molly, you look so good! :)

Mmm...lemon drops.

Dyan said...

Oh, how I loved your post. I remember feeling like that two years ago. The best is after you give birth you'll lose 20 pounds in like a week! That made me feel good even if it was just baby and water weight.

Ashley said...

Do you still have those lemon drops from Portland? Nice.

I reach the "want to stop getting bigger point" at about 5 months. It's always crazy to realize that even though you feel like you have hit maximum size, there is still a ways you can (and in my case, will) go!

I may need you to counsel me on body image during my next pregnancy. And I know you don't want to hear it but you do look adorable!

Ashley said...

P.S. You shouldn't be sticking forks in yourself, what with the baby inside you and all.

amandanbo said...

it will be over soon....it is what it is...it is only temporary...these are all phrases i repeated over and over to myself...now on to getting that hot post baby body...always a challenge!
it is so worth it, though!
hollis is loving his little skater shirt! it's so darn cute!
~amanda

jena wise said...

we can all TOTALLY relate. Though it's been a while for me (4 years?! what happened?!). It's hard to gain weight no matter what the reason. But really, from her eon out, the BABY is the one gaining weight and the weight you gain is all water (seriously). So do what you can to eat healthy (ha - as if cravings are controllable) and know that once you give birth, even if you have a horrible gut, you'll still feel SO much smaller and love it! You'll lose the weight of the baby and tons of water weight and then the rest will surely come off. Hang in there - 7 weeks isn't that long (for the rest of us non-pregnant folk) in the long run.
And you do look so cute :)

The Winkelman's said...

Well, don't worry Molly. It probably feels like you will be big and pregnany forever but believe me, it will go by so fast. And then after you have the baby you will probably feel weird because now you're not cute and round pregnant, you're just round. Since you are so active you'll shrink really fast though.

Ashley C. said...

Better stop complaining or you'll end up overdue like Amy!!!

Kerri said...

coming from the post-baby fans: i love that in the past 10 days since alana was born i've consumed more chocolate and brownies and cinnamon rolls than a girl wanting to fit back into pre-prego clothes ought to, but something inside convinces me that NOW'S THE TIME b/c any extra weight can be blamed on post-baby...they'll never know what i've been up to!

the Rowleys said...

just something, take it or leave it. But my midwife always told me for the last trimester to not eat any refined sugar or starch, so no potatos, eat brown rice instead of white, and 100% whole wheat instead of white bread, and cut out all those sugars, that keeps the baby small during the last few months when they are building up the baby fat. That way you will have a 6 to 7 pound baby and not a 9 to 10 pound baby. During the birth you will thank me. :)

Julia said...

gosh i feel like i've been so out of blog land for the last bit. :) loving catching up.

i can imagine that just like when you're not pregnant there are days when you feel squishier than others and that you change your habits when you feel that way. for me it means getting to the gym, taking the dog for a walk, yoga, whatever. one day at a time.

ps, you are adorable. :)

Sally Teeple said...

I love your style of writing, Molly. I appreciate that you craft your blog posts, instead of simply spewing out a bunch of words. They're always a delight to read. : )