Wednesday, December 31, 2008


Mom, this post is for you...

Once upon a time in a land far, far away, my parents gave us their old parlor couch. It served them well for, oh, 25 to 30 years. And then they gave it to us. Its beauty quickly faded (literally--the fabric faded and wore through and the cushions flattened like pancakes). Guess that's what happens when a couch goes from being a parlor couch to a TV couch.

So I got this great idea to make a slipcover. And who better to help me than my mom? If you haven't met my parents, then you don't yet know that they can build/fix/sew anything. ANYTHING. Don't believe me? My dad just finished leveling out the foundation of my sister's house. Tell me--when is my generation going to inherit this trait? I'm sure it's genetic. Not learned at all. One day you are just able to do everything, right? RIGHT??

Ok, back to my mom. She can sew a mean slipcover. So I picked out the fabric (dark chocolate corduroy) and she pretty much did the rest. This means we spent countless hours in my living room measuring, cutting foam cushions, measuring, cutting fabric, and measuring again. And that was just the first night. Note to self: my mom and I do not function when we get tired. I think we spent twice as much time measuring that first night than we needed to.

And then we took a break. For, oh, maybe 6 months. Then we got together again. This time we were going to pound it out and finish it. But when one person is a perfectionist (my mom) and the other really doesn't know what she's doing (me), projects take a loooooooooong time.

So we took a break. For, oh, maybe another 6 months? I lost track of time.

But today. Yes, today. The day I am finishing my New Year's Resolutions. I sewed on the final flaps of fabric, sewed some velcro to the inside of the slipcover, nailed velcro to the back of the couch, secured the slipcover into place, and....

IT'S FINISHED! It only took a year, but it is finished!

(I probably could have taken a better picture. This will have to do.)

Thanks, Mom!


I'm working on my New Year's Resolutions today. You know, the ones I am trying to finish before the New Year. Something tells me I'm not going to make it. But like any good procrastinator, I'm putting forth a huge effort on the last day of the year.

This morning I finished my blocks project. I was supposed to just stick vinyl letters on them, but considering stickers can be easily peeled off, I figured I should paint the letters on. So I used the outline of the stickers (What do you call that--the negative relief of the sticker?) as stencils and painted the letters. This took a RIDICULOUSLY long time. And no, I am not exaggerating. After hours of tedious labor, I finally finished the blocks. And this was the first thing I spelled:

Yes, I used all the blocks. Yes, that flag is supposed to be an "E." Yes, I think it's close enough. Yes, I attribute my mad block skills to all the hours spent playing speed scrabble with my mom.

But since "hate" is such a harsh word and I didn't have enough blocks to spell "strongly dislike," I decided to change the blocks to a more uplifting message. So I left this love note for Christian and Richard:

Now that I think about it, I love these blocks.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

annoying holiday shoppers

I went shopping today--along with the rest of the world. I am not a fan of shopping in crowds (especially since you can shop in peace during the rest of the year), so the fact that I went out shopping today was a surprise to even me. In fact, I have avoided malls for this entire holiday season. Impressive? You bet. I'm okay with crowds in at a concert, in a big city, at a New Years party, or during big races. No, scratch that. I don't even like crowds in races. Give me wide open spaces any day.

But back to my story. Everywhere I went, I parked in the farthest corner of the parking lot so that I didn't have to deal the holiday parking-spot road rage. I'm just not interested in watching people be annoyed and impatient. I'm on vacation. Everything I'm doing this week is slow and calm and carefree.

I had to get one last thing before Christmas, and when I found it, I noticed that the check-out line wound all the way to the back of the store. I didn't mind, though. It is two days before Christmas, so I didn't expect anything less. I just enjoyed my time in line playing a game on my phone.

After waiting in the loooooong line, I stopped into another store where I was actually surprised to find a lady to help me (it seemed she was one of the only people on the floor). She had been helping me for less than 30 seconds when a very annoyed man interrupted us. It was obvious he had been standing in line for what he considered WAY too long. [Side note: his line was half as long as the one I had stood in.] He walked up and quite rudely said, "Is there a reason there are only two people at the cash registers? Does that other register not work?" The lady politely said, "I don't know, actually. You'll have to ask the cashiers." To which the guy answered, "What? Do you not know how to work the register or something?" and stomped back to his place in line in a huff.

I looked at the lady and said, "Well he was rude, wasn't he?" She smiled and said, "If he didn't want to stand in line, he should have gotten his shopping done earlier."

Amen, lady. A-men.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

my favorite dog

I am obsessed with this dog from The Soup.

Friday, December 19, 2008


I'm at work. I'm on the clock. I have run out of things to do. I am waiting to go home.

My work shuts down for two weeks every Christmas. Today is my last day before the break. My vacation starts as soon as I get home.

Christmas cards!
I'll be sending them in the next couple days. That is, if I don't get tired of addressing them halfway through. You better hope you're one of the first people I write on an envelope, because there's no telling what will happen to the people at the end of the list. I will work on them as soon as I get home.

Wrapping presents!
I have not wrapped a single gift. My poor tree has nothing to protect. But that is all going to change as soon as I get home.

In other words, I'm ready to go home! Hello? Higher administration? Can you send us home already?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

we need nerf guns

Christian and I are sitting in the living room. He is on his computer. I am on my laptop. So I sent him a message on facebook. You know that "pop" sound facebook makes when you get an instant message? Well let me tell you, it is WAY more fun when there are two computers in the room:

Molly: what's up, yo? (pop!)

Christian: what up you (pop!)

Molly: i should have been in bed over an hour ago. i like that sound (pop!)

Christian: i know (pop!)

Molly: pop! (pop!)

Christian: h (pop!)

Christian: h (pop!)

Christian: h (pop!)

Christian: h (pop!)

Molly: hr (pop!)

Christian: h (pop!)

Molly: s (pop!)

Christian: h (pop!)

Molly: d (pop!)

Molly: f (pop!)

Christian: h (pop!)

Molly: g (pop!)

Molly: s (pop!)

Molly: g (pop!)

Molly: i feel like we're shooting each other with nerf guns (pop!)

Christian (spoken): Nerf guns are fun.

Then Richard walked in the room. So we told him to sign on to the other laptop (yeah, we have three computers in our living room) so that we could all *shoot* each other at the same time.

If you ever thought we were cool, now you know the truth. We are nerds.

Monday, December 15, 2008

we love kitty

Kitty is the best ever. We love Kitty. She is the coolest person we know. Everyone should want to be like Kitty. The paparazzi doesn't know what it's missing. (Have I gotten your attention yet, Kitty?)

But this week we love Kitty even more than usual.

For this:

And this:

And this:

And this:

And this:

And this:

I'm still amazed the lady at will-call finally gave in and gave me the tickets. Yes, Ronnie put us on "the list" (ok, maybe he didn't technically put us on the list). Yes, my name really is Kitty Carter (kind of). Yes, I accidentally left my ID at home (or purposefully in the car). I guess I finally looked like I was going to cry (I wasn't really) so she told me that if the real Kitty Carter comes and wants her tickets, that I was a dead girl. Or something to that extent. But I wasn't worried. I knew the real Kitty Carter wasn't coming for the tickets.

The only thing that would have made the night better is if Kitty and Ian had been able to come, too. I think they are kicking themselves for letting us go. But Christian is a die-hard fan and probably would have bugged them about getting tickets for the rest of their lives.

So Kitty and Ian (and The Killers) -- we owe you guys big time.

And as The Killers closed their concert singing "When You Were Young," I thought to myself, "This is like playing Rock Band at Jenni's house. Only better."

Friday, December 12, 2008


Herbie is back home in his tank! (Which he actually may not be very happy about.) Christian looked up around the fridge motor again (we had already looked there at least twice) and found him! No santa hat anymore. Just the fluff attached to his shell. I don't blame him.

Good thing Christian found him, because Herbie would have been mortified if I had posted his picture all over the neighborhood:

Next up on the list of things to find: my sister's bike. She's pretty sure it was stolen. And something tells me it's not hiding in the undercarriages of our fridge.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

dear herbie

Dear Herbie,

Please come home. I'm sorry. I should never have made you wear that silly hat. Animals should never have to wear clothes. Please forgive me.

Please know that I never intended to send your pictures out as a Christmas card. It was only a joke. A horribly bad joke. And then I posted the pictures on the internet. I can see why you are mad.

But the reason you are lost is because I wanted you to be happy. You see, when I went to pick you up to take off your silly hat, you held onto the carpet for dear life. In fear of popping off one of your legs--believe me, it can happen. I once pulled on a crawdad when it was holding onto my friend's shirt, and instead of letting go, it held on until its pincher popped off--it was disgusting. Where was I? Oh yes, in fear of popping off one of your legs, I left you to walk around a bit more. You seemed happy exploring under the Christmas tree. I was late for work, so I told Christian to keep an eye on you while I took a quick shower. It was the fastest shower of my life (I was late for work). When I came out ten minutes later to put you away, Christian said he saw you go into the kitchen.

And that was the last we saw of you.

I'm sorry. I had to go to work. But I resumed searching as soon as I got home. I have spent the last four hours cleaning out every nook and cranny in our house. (By the way--thanks--my house needed a good cleaning.) But I can't find you. I'm worried sick. And you're still wearing that stupid hat.

So I'm begging you to come home. I've put out sand, food, and water for you in four different places. Please make lots of tracks in the sand when you go to drink the water. That way we'll know which room you are in.

Also, you're making me look like a crazy pet owner. So the sooner you come home, the sooner I can stop looking like I'm obsessed with you. Which I obviously am.


PS--Gracie misses you.

i couldn't resist

(click to enlarge)

Everyone send me your address! No guarantees that I'm actually going to get around to sending out cards, but I promise I won't send you pictures of our hermit crabs. My email is molly (dot) auf (at) gmail (dot) com.

(PS--After our photo shoot this morning, I let Herbie run wild. And then I lost him. So there's a hermit crab wearing a santa hat hiding somewhere in our house.)

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

let's take a poll

If you were me, would you send out Christmas cards?

Do we wait til we have kids to send out Christmas cards?

Does Richard count as having kids?

If not, do we dress up our hermit crabs and send a picture of them as our Christmas card? Do you think they would pose in santa hats?

No, really. I'm not asking if you want a card from us. I'm just asking if you would send out Christmas cards if you were me.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

weekend overload

This weekend we, um, contributed to global warming.

(Friday night)

Drove to Oakland to watch Dianna's performance at the temple. Good job, Dianna! You are a beautiful dancer!

Drove back home.


Drove to San Francisco. Walked/jogged a 5K in San Francisco with the Girls on the Run program. My buddy was Cristal, a 3rd-grader from East Palo Alto. She asked me if we were almost done before we had even gotten to the 1-mile mark. Ha! She was great. Everyone should volunteer next year!

Drove back home.

Drove to Sacramento with Lindsey and Rebecca. Dinner and dessert with the girls. Mmmmm. Shopping! We picked up some books (you know, the kind you can curl up in bed with), and we couldn't resist buying ourselves an assortment of shoes and jackets. We had fun to say the least! Spent the night at Ian and Kitty's. Thanks again, guys!!!


Up and moving at 5:55am. Too early. But for a great cause!

Lindsey and Kathy ran the Cal Internation Marathon! Rebecca and I served as support crew and running buddies. The marathoners rocked! Congrats to both ladies for your awesome time (and inspirational endurance at the end of the race)! And congrats to Kathy for her first marathon!

Aaaaannnd then I drove back home.

Then we drove up the mountain to get a Christmas tree! (The Christmas tree deserves--and will get--its own post.) And drove back home.

Watched the Amazing Race finale! I won't spoil the end. Made cookies for my work holiday cookie exchange. Ate too much cookie dough. Stayed up until about 1:30am chit-chatting with my hubby. We had been around each other all afternoon, yet seemed to have a million fun things to tell each other as soon as the clock struck midnight. Why does that happen?

'Twas a great weekend, indeed. I need a nap.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

tea time: ninja style

As I sip my hot apple cider, I imagine I'm having a nice little tea time...

Ninja style with my gmail ninja.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

new years resolutions

Remember how I said I had crafts coming out my ears? Oh wait. You probably haven't had a chance to read that yet. Read the post below this.

Ok, are you back now? Good. Like I said, we haven't seen the surface of our kitchen table in a while.

So I have some New Years Resolutions. Not the kind you start in the new year. The kind you finish before the year is over. I hope to finish these projects by the end of the year.

Put the final flaps on my slipcover. It is 99% done and so cute. Thanks, Mom! I promise I will sew on the final touches before Christmas!

Finish stenciling my (and my mom's) shirt from our Thanksgiving 5k.

Stencil some cool designs on shirts or skirts.

Paint my vinyl letter blocks so I can spell a million ridiculous phrases like "Howdy Partner" and "No Smoking."

Sew lace onto slips so I can layer them under skirts.

Make cards out of all the scraps of cute paper I rescued from the trash at the RS craft night.

Make cute cookies for my friends for Christmas.

Paint something cool on my bedroom wall.

Anybody want to come do crafts with me?

eleven thoughts from my head

1. I am watching Paris Hilton's My New BFF Reunion Episode. I'm not ashamed. It's ridiculously entertaining.

2. Ahhhh, facebook and twitter. How long before we all start talking in status update mode? "Hi Molly! How are you?" "Molly is way too much work today." I can see it coming. It's not pretty.

3. I've got crafts coming out my ears. And I love it. Although I think Christian would like the kitchen table back.

4. Speaking of crafts, I went to a Relief Society craft night last night (Relief Society=the women in my church). I was in heaven. Not so much because of the crafts, but because there are so many fun women in my ward and I miss them all. I was practically giddy about hanging out and chatting and seeing everyone--and I do mean everyone. They are all awesome.

5. Richard found an iphone on the sidewalk in front of his school. He took it to the office. Too bad we're honest people, huh?

6. This morning I had a dream that I woke up, got dressed, and put my hair up in super cute clips. And my hair looked great. Then I really woke up. An hour late. And I had no cute clips. And my hair does not look great. My dreams have been incredibly mean lately.

7. I made a cake on Sunday. Today is Wednesday. I have eaten the entire thing in the last 4 days. Who says you can't have dessert after breakfast? (And lunch, and dinner...)

8. People don't recognize me. Now that my hair is growing out, whenever I put it up it looks like I'm blond again. And people at work don't recognize me. Literally, I'm getting those Hi-who-are-you-I'm-not-sure-why-you're-smiling-at-me looks again as I walk around campus. Lovely.

9. Speaking of campus. The economic downturn is hitting closer to home. Here at Stanford we're already down to a bare bones budget, and each department has been asked to provide three scenarios in which they cut 5, 7 and 10 percent from their 2009-10 budgets. How do you cut 10 percent when you've already cut all your spending? And the survey says...people.

10. Speaking of economic downturns and losing jobs and not having any money. I can't wait to go spend money here:

11. The ninja theme on my gmail account is a riot. I can't get enough. This was what it looked like at the bottom of my email last night. I had to take a screen shot.

Monday, December 1, 2008

need a break from a spreadsheet

lunch + a piece of cake + a boring spreadsheet = a very sleepy girl

So I am distracting myself in an effort to wake up. I thought about doing this tag a couple weeks ago, but was just officially tagged by Meredith, so I figured I should. In no particular order...

8 favorite TV shows:
- Chuck
- Survivor
- The Office
- 30 Rock
- The Amazing Race
- Lost
- Eh, 6 is close enough to 8, right? What did I forget?

8 Favorite Restaurants:
- Um, we don't go out to eat very much
- El Calderon (Mountain View)
- Plutos (Palo Alto)
- Sushi, good mexican, thai food, milkshakes
- Oh, Belden Taverna (SF) was very yummy
- Anywhere I've never been before

8 things that happened yesterday: (Nov. 30)
- We spoke in church
- I got out the Christmas decorations
- I realized it's my first Christmas with a nativity set. Thanks, Mom!
- I put Christmas music on and left it playing for hours
- We watched Surf's Up (Richard bought it)
- April and Janel came over to "visit teach" (in other words we sat around talking about girl stuff). You ladies can come "visit teach" me every day.
- I made a cake (from a mix--frosting from scratch)
- I ate too much cake

8 things to look forward to:
- Getting a Christmas tree!
- Christmas!
- 2 months of free evenings
- 2 weeks of mandatory vacation from work
- Snowboarding
- The hills turning green from the rain!
- Stormy weather
- Organizing my house (yes, I am dying to do this in my free time)

8 things I love about fall (should this read 'winter' for future tags?):
- leaves turning colors
- blustery days
- my birthday
- wearing orange all the time
- surprisingly warm days after cold spells
- Halloween!
- Thanksgiving!

8 things on my wishlist:
- savings
- peace of mind
- a Christmas tree within the next week
- to be more helpful and loving to those around me
- for people in this world to stop hurting each other
- to learn to speak Portuguese
- to travel
- this last one is private

I tag anyone who wants to do it!

Ok, back to my boring spreadsheet. I'm awake now.