Monday, March 10, 2008

people pleaser

I'm a people pleaser. It's true. I always have been. It's just my personality. I have a hard time saying things that will offend people.

Although I'd rather not, I'm working on my this, mainly because I think there are some things that people need to hear. Even saying that is hard for me to say. Members of my own family will even tell me that I need to stick up for myself more (mostly in response to other family members). I'm getting better at it. That's not to say I never stick up for myself. I have strong opinions on things, and I'll voice my opinion, but I also strongly believe that everyone is entitled to their opinions whether or not they line up with mine. I think that it's possible to voice my opinion without offending people, and I hope I'm somewhat successful at it.

Recently I took a personality test. It's crazy how accurate those things can be. The results confirmed to me what I already knew about myself: I worry about how other people feel and want everyone to be happy. This also means that I'm very sensitive when I find myself offended by what others have said. They say this is actually what contributes to me being overly sensitive to others' needs. I've also learned that when I do put my foot down, I often feel bad afterward, wondering how the other person is feeling and wondering if I should have put my foot down like I did.

Not to mention I'm often so accommodating that I hold it in, and hold it in, and hold it in until I explode. Not a good thing. I'm definitely working on that.

It's an interesting personality type. And I know I'm not alone in this. Some people might think it's silly, but I like being this way. I like being sensitive. I like worrying about how other people feel. I'd much rather be perceived that way than as someone who constantly offends.

So to my family, my husband, my "borrowed" teenagers, my friends... and to those whom I have offended, know that I always feel bad afterward. Even if I still know it needed to be said.

Ha! This sounds like I'm apologizing for having just done something bad. Nope. Just letting thoughts ramble out of my head. All's well in Mollyville.

7 comments:

Ashley (tylers sister...not wife) said...

Ha,I think you just exactly describe my personality in that blog too.

Ryan said...

Oh goodness Molly. In the 40+ years that I've know you, I think you have yet to say something that's offended me. On the contrary, I've no doubt offended you countless times.

I think you have very little to worry about.

Matt, Ella, and Jane said...

Miss Molly, I need your running expertise. Please read about my woes on my blog and give me some advice!

Tyler said...

Ryan's right. You fall into the non-offend category. Ryan also knows that I don't. Sorry Ryan.

One question though. You mentioned that you feel like you need to stand up for yourself more. What type of things do you need to stand up to? Are you talking about people (like your older brother) razzing you from time to time, or actual conflicts that you have with peers. I don't see you as one that really has many conflicts in the first place to have to stand up to.

Molly said...

Ashley--That's why we're sisters!

Ryan--You don't offend me! You're just funny. And I'm glad we've known each other for 40+ years. :)

Ella--Here I come!

Tyler--Ha. So true. I don't have many conflicts. Mainly just standing up for my point of view when others are adamant about their own and I don't necessarily agree. Or when people are giving me a hard time about something and I just smile. Not big things. :)

Matt, Ella, and Jane said...

Molly, I'm so glad you are interested in helping me. You are a people pleaser! So, I don't have your email address so email me at ellajespersen@gmail.com. For now I'll tell you that my training schedule was a very easy one for beginners. Once I got to 10 miles I added two miles every other week, so my long runs went like this 10, 5, 12, 6, 14, 7, 16, 8, 18, 9, 20. Then now that I hit 20 I am supposed to do this: 10, 12, 23, 10, 8, marathon. I do three other runs per week ranging between 3-6 miles. Too little? I do stretch every time but not for 15 minutes. I'm also not sure I know the best stretches for quads, hams, IT, and butt. Should I be running a little bit right now or taking time completely off?

whitney said...

hey molly, i just found your blog through lindsey's... hope you don't mind if i add you to my links. and for the record, you have never offended me, but i've only known you for a couple months, so well just wait and see. :) just kidding.