Monday, February 11, 2008

rejection

Since we're on the topic of Valentine's Day, I need some dating advice. No, not for me. I'm luckily past that stage (and never want to return to it). The advice is for a friend. And I thought all of you out there would have some helpful advice.

Here's the situation.

My friend (let's call her Sadie) seems to attract wierd guys. Ok, they seem normal at first. But then she realizes they are a little off. You all know the type. So they start as friends. All is well. But then they guys starts to show interest. And she does her best to show non-interest while still maintaining the friendship. Sadie is a nice girl who doesn't believe in dropping off the face of the planet just because a guy friend starts to show interest in her.

So there are two guys who currently fall into this category. She tries to give signs that she's not interested. But they just don't get it. So then she flat out tells them she isn't interested. They say they understand. But then they're right back at it. She tells them again--this time saying that she will never be interested in anything more than friends. It doesn't sink in.



It gets more complicated. Both guys have shown interest in the church and have come to church or church activities with her on various occasions. But she can't tell if they are coming to church for the spiritual/social aspect or just to wiggle into her world through her church. Should she kindle their "interest" in the church? Will that just make it worse?

Another monkey wrench. Both guys lack great social skills. They don't have many friends. Sadie is one of their friends. If she drops them completely, she feels like they won't have any friends at all.

They are nice guys, but a little wierd and incredibly dense (or stubborn) about the fact that she isn't interested in anything more than friendship.

So we need our readers' opinions. What would you do? What did you do in the past? What should Sadie do? How the heck do you get through the thick skulls of guys like these?

I know what my advice is, but I want to see yours...

4 comments:

Dana said...

I have a friend that seems to attract the same kind of guys. Since she is so nice, the guys would get the wrong ideas and think she liked them. Two of them even stalked her for awhile. It was ugly. For your friends sake, she needs to continue to let them know she is not interested. If they keep persueing then she shouldn't hang out with them anymore for both their sakes. She could get the missionaries involved to see if they are really interested in the gospel or not.

Bonnie said...

Hey, let me tell you. I was that kind of girl... way too nice to everyone. Not saying that nice is bad, but when dense boys are involved, you have to just cut and run. I guess the guys that were weird with me were in the singles' ward already, so that "investigator" aspect is a bit touchy. I agree with Dana ... get the missionaries involved and be kind, even help at the discussions maybe, but if they are as creepy as they sound, then it's better to stop now while she's ahead! hmmm... tricky one!

Carbonneau said...

Gotta cut them loose. Or at least that's what I would have tried if I had a second chance. Or so I think. I was always way too nice. Not that I had guys drooling over me, but the guys I knew couldn't be JUST friends...they were always hoping to change my mind. Good Luck!

Jenni said...

Sadie needs a fake boyfriend.