Tuesday, January 8, 2008

day 7: the flight home

(This was written on January 4th)

We took a 6am flight home this morning, which means we got up at the insanely early hour of 4:45am (which is 2:45am back home). We were only about 10 minutes from the airport and we walked up to our gate about thirty minutes before the departure time. We literally walked up and got on the plane. Perfect. Our connecting flight was perfect, too. Walked up and straight onto the plane. I think I like it that way.

The first leg of the flight was in a little plane from Huntsville to Atlanta. The second, from Atlanta to San Jose, has been pretty funny.

Let’s start with the gas. Someone near us keeps passing gas. It’s pretty bad. And it’s definitely not either of us. Every half hour or so we look at each other, scrunch up our noses in disgust, and giggle a little (quietly, of course—we wouldn’t want to embarrass the offending passenger).

Next is the flight attendant. She walked up and asked us what we wanted to drink. Christian asked for a sprite, and I asked her what other kinds of soda they had. “You want club soda?” No, what other kinds of soda do you have? With a confused look, she responded, “We have club soda.” No, what OTHER kinds of soda do you have? “You mean soft drinks? We have sprite and coke.” Oh, I didn’t realize soda only meant club soda. I can’t quite figure this out. Shouldn’t a flight attendant, who obviously does this multiple times every day, dealing with people from all over the world, realize that some people refer to “soft drinks” as “soda” or “soda pop” or “pop?” It was like she had never heard that before. Christian, being the nice guy that he is, said that maybe she just couldn't hear me. I guess I could give her the benefit of the doubt. But not after she handed out the crackers.

I was on this same flight just over a month ago, on my way home from my trip with Jennifer. The flight attendant gives you the option of cheese crackers, peanuts, or little cookies. They even announce it at the beginning of the flight: “A flight attendant will have drinks and your choice of...” So when I heard the announcement on this flight, I immediately looked forward to the little cookies. I was really hungry. So while she was pouring our drinks, she proceeded to set three packets of cheese crackers on the tray of the guy in the aisle seat. She hadn’t even asked any of us what kind of snack we wanted. Just plopped them down. Trying to come up with some sort of explanation, I thought maybe the guy had asked her for three of them and I just hadn’t noticed. I eyed the little cookies on her cart as she continued giving us our drinks. When she was done, she asked the people opposite us what they wanted. I kept thinking she would come back and ask what snack we wanted. When she moved on to the next aisle, I figured out that the three cracker packets were for the three of us and that she was just expecting the guy in the aisle seat to pass them down.

Then there’s the guy in the aisle seat. Christian and I obviously had not gotten any snacks. And there were three sitting on his tray. What did he do? He rearranged them on his tray and started drinking his drink. I really didn’t want cheese crackers, but my stomach was starting to hurt out of hunger and the lady was long gone. Christian and I kept looking at each other, laughing a little, confused about why he hadn’t passed them down. We waited patiently for probably almost 5 minutes, hoping he would realize that he was supposed to pass them down. No such luck. I couldn’t believe it! Was he oblivious? (More stinky gas...) Or was he just keeping them for himself on purpose? I couldn’t take it anymore! I told Christian it was time to ask, and he politely said, “Hey, could we get some of those?” And do you know what the guy did? He handed him one. ONE! He gave Christian one, opened the other to start eating it, and put the third one in the seat pouch in front of him for later. Are you kidding me?? It was so hard to contain our laughter. We just looked at each other in disbelief.

The flight attendants just came around for the second time. It was a different lady. She promptly asked, “What would you like to drink?” I played it safe and asked for water. She immediately came back with, “And what kind of snack? Crackers, peanuts, or cookies?” Cookies, please. And that was that.


The Wades said...

i am sure it was that guy who was passing gas ... that is freaking hilarious.

Jenni said...

I had an epiphany about soft drinks the other day. You know how some liquor is called "hard liquor" and the lemonade with alcohol in it is called "hard lemonade"? So, drinks with alcohol are "hard" drinks and drinks without alcohol are "soft" drinks. I know - probably everyone already knows this. And, it doesn't explain why the lady didn't know what you were referring to with the term "soda". But, I was pretty proud of myself for that epiphany!

veeda said...

oh my gosh, this is so funny. I actually don't know what's more hilarious -- the club soda confusion or the hoarding guy next to you. Man, I hate flying.